| What
if the Russians Don't Come
My town has a plan for its civil defence
So we'll all take Route 70 when it get tense
My wife sewed directions in my underclothes
So I'll know where to run when the big whistle blows
We held a rehearsal last Saturday night
And all things considered our town did all right
Except on the ramp when that truck tried to pass
And it took us three hours to clean up the glass But-
What if the Russians don't come
What if they like where they're from
What if they're not in the mood to invade
What if they're tired, or drunk, or afraid
What would we do if their generals just said, "This is dumb"
What if the Russians don't come
I've
heard about Russians since I was a tyke
So here's what I know about what they are like
They don't believe in God, they don't have no fun
They're brainwashed, they're dull, and they all weigh a ton
And in the Olympics whenever we meet
Their women are men, and their judges all cheat
Maybe you shouldn't rely just on me
I've not seen a Russian except on TV
What
if the Russians have lives
What if their husbands have wives
If they come home late from work on the bus
And have to fix dinner for children that fuss
They may be too tired to come put us under their thumb
What if the Russians don't come
Our
leaders said we're behind in the race
We needed those missile just to keep pace
If we don't stay up there lap after lap
The Russians will tumble us right off the map
Well, I'm getting dumb but sometimes I forget
What I've got against all these folks I ain't met
I can't figure out why they want World War III
Could it be they are wondering the same about me
What
if the Russians are scared
What if they're all unprepared
What if poor Ivan's as worried as I am
Worried about Maggie and old Uncle Sam
Why don't we stop before one of us does something dumb
What if the Russians don't come
--Philip
Hoos |
