Overheard Development of India

“So what do they have to say?”“Didn’t you read the paper? The American president visited us.”“What does that mean?”“Of course, it means we are finally making progress. In your days, only heads of the third world countries used to come to India.”“But we are a third world country, my child. Don’t you..”(Interrupting..) “Yeah that’s what you think. Come to Bangalore and you will see. Everyone is having a party”“How many more parties do we need? I think the Congress and the Communists were two big enough parties..”“Oh no..not those parties. Who needs ideology? I am talking about parties. The late night parties. India rocks. You have to come out of that village. Come to Bangalore. This time you really need to visit my city. It’s where the future of India lies.”“Future of India? What’s that going to be like?”“Of course, just like us. We are the future. We got the FDIs.”“FBI? Are they now concentrating on foreign lands too? I thought it was only CIA.”“Hell, no. FDI..Foreign Direct Investments.”“Oh, it’s the same thing, I guess. By the way, why are they investing on us?”“Well how else shall we make progress?”“You mean, how else they will make progress? Because we never needed anyone in the history for our progress. They always came after us.”“Oh come on. They are already developed. They don’t need to make any more progress. Now they want to take care of the entire world.”“You mean like the way the Kings took care of the subjects, after they had conquered...”“Yeah, whatever. But remember there are just 7 to 8 countries today who are helping the rest of the world. They have taken up the responsibility to save the world.”“Like James Bond did in his old movies…”“Well, even in new ones that you have not seen since some time now...”“So what do these countries do in Bangalore?”“Well they have set up big offices. They give us well paid jobs. We work night and day, and earn good money.”“Do they understand your language? How can they work in Bangalore? I don’t believe you.”“Come on…they don’t have to understand our language. We have mastered their languages and cultures already. I have a map of Maryland right here beside me. The weather is 37F. Feels like 28F…”“You can feel Maryland weather? How so?”“Oh, that’s a lie. But we talk in American English. So it doesn’t matter anyway.”“So the world is being saved by training the poor people to become expert liars?”“Don’t start off there again. I am not poor. I have everything with me. I have a car. A flat, a laptop and even an ipod.”“Oh so, you mean you can actually afford to buy all that? How do you do that?”“Simple, I buy everything on credit.”“You mean there are money-lenders in Bangalore?”“Yeah, but not like the ones in Mother India. So relax. I just pay some interests. At times they are a lot. But then, this government sucks too. They also charge a lot of taxes. But then, it’s ok. You know, I get to own. I have the visa power.”“Power. You mean you actually have some power by going on debt?”“Yeah that’s real power. Why else would President Bush have visited India?”“You mean to make you more indebted?”“Come on, didn’t you read the papers? If not, at least watch the TV. You should have seen our Manmohan Singh. He was so grateful. Actually we all are.”“All are? Where? In Bangalore?”“Hello”“—Hello …”“Darn..these Indian villages…they will never improve”“Hello, my child…I think the line got disconnected. You know your village has a very weak telephone system. But our neighboring village is even worse. So don’t worry. Just send me a letter. Sounds very exciting. This visit of one president to another.”-hung up—